This is an excellent question! You’re female, 21, shy and looking for a Dom. Depending on where you are this might be something of a challenge, but let’s start with the basics. For anyone just starting out, in addition to looking for a Dom / Master / Owner (and yes, those are three different things…) I’d also recommend joining a site or two that’s just for their own orientation. It’s nice to be in a safe place where you can simply talk with people like yourself, without having to explain anything. For example, Humbled Females is, as the name suggests, just for submissive women and Doms to gather. Finding a few submissive girlfriends to chat with is usually quite a validating experience!

All the people recommending Fetlife are pointing you in the right direction. Essentially, it’s an online munch for people who can’t get to one locally. There are lots of people there who can answer your questions and you can start to get a feel for the scene. Collarspace is another place to check out, but it has so many problems these days that I have downgraded my recommendation to a yellow light. The website hasn’t been upgraded in about 15 years, it’s quite buggy and it will take at least a month for your profile to be approved. Also, there are TONS of fake profiles, so using CS requires large amounts of both common sense and patience. That being said, people keep using it because it’s extremely high traffic. And because there are some quite real and quite wonderful users there, one of whom might have a collar with your name on it. They’re billing Alt as their sister site these days. Less traffic, less drama. You can sign up for free, but to reply to anyone you’ll need to upgrade your account.

Now that the “50 Shades” mania is starting to die down a little, many of the sites that popped up trying to cash in are starting to fizzle out – this is a good thing. If you ask around on Fetlife, I’m sure they’ll be able to point you in the direction of a few more sites that are both legit and thriving. Good luck!